I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
