Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
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Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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