i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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