The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
