why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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