My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
