Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
