Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Small penises have feelings too.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
