roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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