dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize