D3 body, D1 cock
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
