i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
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there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
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drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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