They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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