Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
