Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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