New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize