I wish my penis had an off switch
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
being pregnant is like rehab
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
