my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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