Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
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I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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