Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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