I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
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He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
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Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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