I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I look excited, but its just a facade.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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