Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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