Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
