Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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