break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
