Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
