i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She's JV to your varsity
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
