my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
