ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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