bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
