More tranny stories later!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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