what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
