She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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