Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
