I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
