Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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