my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize