its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
