You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
