Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
