It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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