Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
