wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
