he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
