Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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