I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
