Umm I'm too high to move.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
