plz talk dirty to me
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
