my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
