he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
