new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize
