I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
