i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
