you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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