I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
