You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
