OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
