Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
