girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
