weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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