I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
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She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
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you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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