So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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