Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The struggles of a small town man whore
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
