yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.