You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?