I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary