we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma