Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
