So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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