All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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